Feeling stuck on a presentation?
When I was invited to speak at a conference in the Netherlands to present the early findings of my doctoral thesis, it felt like an important part of my career. So I diligently worked on my presentation for three weeks, feeling increasingly tense as the date approached.
I’d always thought of myself as a confident presenter, but I was flustered the night before I traveled to the Netherlands. I realized that my presentation was complicated, too long, and didn’t have a central idea. I was so scared of not phenomenally impressing my audience that I was embarrassed about what I’d produced.
When I started to panic, I realized that I needed to step away from my computer. Having little time left to make changes and feeling mentally spent, I knew it was time to pray. As a student of Christian Science, I’ve seen how, when I’ve felt this way in the past, turning to God has always brought calm and direction. I knew that this time wouldn’t be an exception.
I realized that my presentation was complicated, too long, and didn’t have a central idea.
It occurred to me that I had been trapped in my own concept of being a good speaker and presenter—that I considered myself to be the source of this talent. I felt God was nudging me to see how much larger and expansive life is when I don’t outline it through the smallness of my own perspective.
In the book of Exodus in the Bible, Moses doubted his capacity to speak convincingly and lead the Israelites out of slavery (see 4:1–12, 28–31). I had thought Moses’ capacity was his own, so it was a big relief to learn through Christian Science that God was actually the source and Moses the expression. Relying on God, Moses successfully led the Israelites out of captivity. This helped me understand that any concept of ourselves that’s wrapped up in either pride or self-deprecation misses out on seeing the full expression of God in our lives.
As I thought about this, I felt increasingly humbled and receptive and began to rethink my motive for presenting my research at the conference. I realized that my real reason for being there was to express divine Love, God, not to impress the audience. I asked God to lead me in editing or re-envisioning my presentation so that it could benefit whoever would hear it.
Next, my perspective was gently shifted to see that God, as infinite Mind, divine intelligence, has been the animating power behind my career, including my research for my thesis and every other step of this journey. God would continue to be the pilot of my life—not me. So I opened a new PowerPoint file and said, “OK, God. This is all You. Tell me what to put in here.”
I started to pace in my apartment and waited. I told myself that I would listen for guidance on each individual slide until it came—even if I had to walk up and down in my apartment the whole night.
After a few steps, ideas for the first two slides and a creative new beginning popped into my head. I sat down to write and then paced again until the next idea came. Within about twenty minutes, I had a complete presentation that was interactive and representative of my research. It also had a core idea, a graceful flow, and a beginning and an end. When I ran through the presentation, it met the exact time limit needed for the conference.
I was in awe. I felt so exhilarated and humbled.
The presentation at the conference went incredibly well, and has been a template I have used for other presentations. And this experience reminded me of the essential truth that God is the only source of our intelligence and creativity. When we realize that God is the source, academics and all other activities become more fulfilling, creative, interesting, and effortless.
When we realize that God is the source of our intelligence, academics and other activities become more effortless.
I’ve come to think of this experience in relation to something a Christian Science practitioner once shared with me. Imagine you are sitting in a car in a big city with high-rise buildings all around. You really want to go to a specific place, but it’s hard to see how to get there. Now imagine that you are on the phone with a dear friend who is standing on top of one of those buildings and can see all the way to your destination. Your friend might recommend, “Turn right now, and then make a left.” Even though that might not make sense, based on your own view of the road, you know your friend has the whole picture and can guide you there via the best, quickest route possible.
You probably have figured out by now that in this analogy, your friend is God, and how fast and well you get to your destination depends, in part, on how much trust you put in your friend’s perspective.
Humility is powerful because it allows us to give up a limited view and accept divine direction. Then, instead of feeling that we need to accumulate talents or strive to become “someone,” we find that we are already a whole and capable “someone” because divine Love made us so.
