Struggling with math?
I’d always thought I was bad at math. The formulas and steps were confusing and most math concepts felt incomprehensible.
Junior year of high school, nothing in my algebra class made sense, and my frustration only grew. I believed myself to be “laughably terrible” at math.
And just to lower my confidence even further, I scored a surprisingly low grade of 20 percent on my first test. I hold myself to high standards, so this destroyed me. I felt that I’d disappointed my teachers and myself. I wondered how this would affect my GPA and how colleges would see me. I began to spiral and think, “Colleges don’t want a failure! I won’t be able to go anywhere! I’ll end up with a terrible life all because of this stupid test!”
Nothing in my algebra class made sense, and my frustration only grew.
As the year progressed, I didn’t pass a single math quiz, test, or lesson.
I thought that I was lacking the knowledge I needed to do well in this class. I was constantly worried—worried about my future, worried about my grades, worried about my capabilities. I was so stuck in a never-ending loop of fear.
Following winter break, our class got a new math teacher. While my failure in math had had nothing to do with my previous teacher, I did appreciate something this new teacher brought to the table.
I go to a school for Christian Scientists, and before each test, my new teacher would share an idea that was helpful for our prayers about the exam. One in particular stuck with me. It’s from the Bible, and it says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God” (Philippians 4:6, New International Version).
What I took from this passage was to show gratitude, even when it doesn’t seem like you have much to be grateful for. Gratitude is the opposite of lack; it is the very essence of abundance! As I’m learning more about Christian Science, I’m understanding that God is the source of all good. The truth is that God created us, His children, to express Him. So really, I don’t lack anything—especially knowledge. I saw that I was capable of understanding anything in my math class because God is all-knowing and I reflect Him.
I saw that I was capable of understanding anything in my math class because God is all-knowing and I reflect Him.
I also realized I was surrounded by people who wanted to help. My community consisted of math teachers who cared, tutors who showed up and were helpful, and most of all, friends and family who stood by my side, and loved me unconditionally despite my math grades. All of this was a reminder that God is always with us, giving us everything we need.
With gratitude, and a newly developed spiritual understanding of myself, I found that my performance in math turned around. Thanks to Christian Science, I was able to successfully pass Algebra ll my junior year.
