The subject line of a recent marketing email I received read, “The Best Defense.” It reminded me of an experience I had in which I had to make a hard and important decision together with some people close to me. We had always gotten along splendidly. So I was a bit shocked when all of us had different ideas of what would be best!

As time went on, it was an even bigger surprise to me that no one seemed to see my point of view. In fact, I felt as if I were being ganged up against.

A meeting to discuss options was coming up, and I was feeling very much on the defensive. I was trying hard to see everyone’s reasoning, but I couldn’t. I felt pressured to build a case for what I thought would be best—to gather the most compelling facts, use the right words.