Release from suffering
In 1997, I changed careers. Although I fully understood the reasons behind this change of direction, doubt began to creep in, and I began to feel sorry for myself and sick. I was offered a teaching position, and although I felt impelled not to take it, I did. After the first day at the school, I found that I could barely walk. I rang the school to tell them that I would not be able to continue with my teaching contract. I sensed I needed to take time out to spend it with God.
At the time, I also felt as though I were all alone with no one to talk to, and that no one really understood why I’d made the job change. I rang a wonderful Christian Science practitioner, who told me that God was giving me all His attention. It was exactly what I needed to hear. I was in quite a bit of pain, and the practitioner agreed to pray with me. It was becoming clearer to me that the pain I was experiencing was not in body, but in thought. The practitioner gave me the following passage from Mary Baker Eddy’s Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures to ponder: “The remedy consists in probing the trouble to the bottom, in finding and casting out by denial the error of belief which produces a mortal disorder, never honoring erroneous belief with the title of law nor yielding obedience to it” (p. 184 ).
As I thought about that, I realized the importance of something the practitioner had also mentioned, that I must be grateful for and see the benefits of the time I’d spent training at my previous job, and realize that the time spent there had not been wasted. I knew that to be true, as I had wonderful experiences in this training, and the practitioner reminded me to focus on all the good. Seeing this helped, but for a few days the pain continued and it was still very difficult to walk.
I knew that it didn’t really matter what the body was trying to say. I just needed to keep listening to God. I also had to overcome the fear that I might never walk again. It was helpful to me to remember all the healings I had previously experienced through relying on Christian Science treatment and to shut out any thoughts that would try to tempt me to believe that God would not heal me this time. I continued to focus on thought, not on what was going on with my body, and also shut out criticism from others over the career move I’d made.
I felt a great spiritual unfolding occurring in my thought, even though to the outside eye, it would have looked as though I were just lying in bed, doing nothing. What God was telling me was that everything was OK, that I had been living in accord with Him, and that I could continue without qualification to be grateful for my previous work experiences. Sometimes I just listened to a cassette tape of hymns, which I found inspiring and comforting. I realized I had been looking for human approval, when all I ever needed and had was God’s
approval.
A little short of a week later, I was in my bed, rolling around in pain and unable to get comfortable, when the whole situation suddenly seemed ridiculous. It was as if I were outside of myself looking on, thinking: “This is crazy! You can get up!” I was able to get up, put on my swimming costume (bathers, togs), and go for a swim. Later that night, a large amount of fluid discharged from my lower back.
A few days later I resumed my normal activities. I felt it was important for me to see that God’s direction had been unerring in my career move, and that I had been following divine guidance, regardless of what other people might have felt or said to the contrary. Since then I have had wonderful opportunities to pray for others and to fulfill lifetime goals of performing theater, as well as travelling and living abroad. God’s direction is never absent, neither is His loving presence.
Jodie Swales
Nambour, Queensland, Australia
