HAVING "FOUND GOD" IN MY LATE 20s, I began an unquenchable search for a closer understanding of Him. I became a United Methodist lay minister, serving a church in rural Illinois, and grew to love the congregation. In fact, I still have friends from there. Also, I was invited to guest speak at many churches. It was a real privilege to meet brethren on so many fronts and to share the love of Christ, Still, I felt deep down that there must be more. I began attending different churches as well as smaller gatherings of Christian men and women, spurred on by hopes that I would find comfort for the deeper spiritual needs I had. And I desperately wanted to help others who were searching. There were so many unanswered questions stored up within me.

One evening I was invited to join a small Christian group of men and women meeting in a storefront in a very small town. These people were accustomed to "laying hands" on those who desired healing, and praying for them in the name of Jesus. A lady had one leg that was considerably shorter than the other and consented to being prayed for by the group. She sat in a straightback chair and placed her legs on another chair in front of her. There was considerable praying, speaking in tongues, and the laying on of hands. I was about as close as one could get when I actually saw her leg adjust and "grow" before my eyes. But at that same moment, the lady's eyes met mine, and it was as if we were carrying on a conversation, only without words. I sensed she may have felt that although this was a "cure," there was not any assurance of permanency in healing through blind faith. And my thought was: What would prevent a reversal of what had happened? Although I can't speak for the lady, I felt that there was nothing authentic about this. There was no divine authority reflected—nothing which was based on any fixed principle.

I was so dismayed by having seen a physical healing, something I was longing to witness, only to be so unimpressed. In fact, I was actually upset. It was as if I'd been cheated, having looked for the truth about healing for so long and then feeling what I'd seen hadn't come about legitimately. So I left the store immediately, even before the lady got up from her chair. As I drove home that night, I prayed a prayer that was simple and to the point—and, as I was to soon find out, made it to the heart of the Father's abiding place. The prayer was this: "If healing is that important to You, God, then lead me into it!" In earnest, I realized I needed divine guidance to help me discover that "secret place of the most High" (Ps. 91:1) or else I would probably never find it on my own.

A day or so after this, I was looking through one of my encyclopedias at home when I came upon an article about Christian Science. It mentioned "the healing aspect" of The First Church of Christ, Scientist. Did my eyes ever light up! It also mentioned the textbook of Christian Science, Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by the Discoverer and Founder of Christian Science, Mary Baker Eddy. I really wanted to see this book. The library was 16 miles away, but I didn't care. I got in the car and drove there. And in a very quiet, secluded area of the library was Science and Health. I pulled the book from its shelf, opened it at random, and began to read. What I read made sense. I read some more, and it, too, made sense. The smile on my face began to get larger. So I checked out the book and took it home. Little did I know that it would share a place in my home next to my Bible for the next 28 years (and counting).

The comfort this little book brought to me has been the best gift I've ever received, bringing daily comfort along with the Bible. Science and Health began answering all of the lurking questions I had about life, one by one. As I read from the book, I would often say to myself "another one answered!"

One day, probably several years after finding Christian Science, I came upon this within the pages of Science and Health: "Nothing is more antagonistic to Christian Science than a blind belief without understanding, for such a belief hides Truth and builds on error" (p. 83). This, I thought, was why I'd been unimpressed at the storefront years before—I just didn't have the words to convey it those many years ago.

Christian Science continues to answer deep questions and guide me along the way. Recently, I began to advertise in The Christian Science Journal as a Christian Science practitioner. And in my work, Science and Health and the Bible truly make my heart "burn within me," enlighten my path, and lead me to that "secret place of the most High," to God. |css