Rescued from dark thoughts

WHEN I WAS 14, I LAPSED INTO A DEPRESSION that went on for a number of months. During that time, I often had thoughts of suicide. I'd been dealing with mood swings, anger, sleepless nights, and fights with my family. It seemed like there had been a growing gap between God and myself. But these difficult months felt even more severe. I was beginning to physically harm myself. I'd even cut myself on purpose a few times.

My parents were supportive throughout this time, talking to me, praying about my well-being, and even suggesting I talk to a Christian Science practitioner. But I also kept a lot of what I was feeling to myself. I wouldn't agree to seek help, even though my parents persisted in encouraging me, because I felt vulnerable. I would go in and out of stages, sometimes believing myself cured, sometimes actually enjoying depression. Against parent's rules, I would leave the house to go on walks late at night, hoping to get hurt.

I felt God's love around me
December 6, 2010

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