My dad passed on earlier this year. It was unexpected, and to be honest, a shock to me.

Soon after, I was sorting through some of my papers, and I found a special card my daughter had just bought to give to Dad this Father's Day. It had a little silver charm of a grandfather clock on it. We were excited when we found it in the store because as a kid, Dad collected and repaired clocks.

Family members and neighbors brought their clocks to Tommy Jones to be fixed. And throughout the years he took good care of the grandfather clock that had come from his own grandfather—a clock that's now mine. It made me feel bad that my dad would never see this card and that I wouldn't be celebrating Father's Day with him.

I was on a work trip when my sister called to let me know the news of Dad's passing. Not long after, I e-mailed my boss to let him know that I needed to take a few days off. He's a Christian Scientist, and he wrote back right away that when his mom passed on, he'd had many immediate "signs" from God that Mother-love could never die and that this love was with him and his mom forever. He told me to watch for proof of it. He also said that the fatherhood of God could become even more vivid than ever right then.

And it did. Soon I felt the kind of comfort a child feels when her dad scoops her up after a fall. I still felt sad. And I still wish my dad were here. But at the same time, I have felt loved, cared for, and fathered since Dad died.

Right away the tune and words of a hymn by Mary Baker Eddy came to me. I thought about them throughout the day and sang them silently:

Every line made me feel more at peace. I thought about how my dad's life was made up of God's love, and how that could never change.

The very evening he passed on, Dad and I had had a really great phone conversation. It wasn't unusual for us to chat on the phone at least every week, but this conversation was different. I felt a palpable sense of unconditional love and patience for Dad throughout the call. I'd been in the middle of an important work event and didn't really have time for a personal call, but I felt compelled to dial the phone. I'm so grateful I did, because it left nothing unsaid between us. He told me that he thought he had the three best kids on the face of the earth, and I told him that we loved him and wanted him to have everything he needed. This was clearly God's gift to both of us, and proof that She provides whatever we need even before we need it.

Even though I'm an adult and haven't really lived "at home" since I graduated from college (and that was a long time ago!), my dad fathered me many times and in many ways since then. He was a steady support.

Because Dad had just died, I didn't have time to think about what I would do without that kind of stalwart care. But I've since learned that I didn't have to.

The very next day I got a call about a financial situation I needed to deal with. It was a pretty big challenge, and I didn't see a clear-cut solution, but I did trust there was one. Less than minutes later, I was on the phone with someone who offered me unsolicited help. It was the kind of unselfish help Dad had given to me over and over again.

The timing was perfect. To me the undeniable lesson was this: My dad had expressed God's fathering qualities well, but I'd never be separated from God's Father-love.

Looking back, I see that previously it had felt more natural for me to think of God as my divine Mother. I may have referred to God mostly as "He," but the synonym I identified most closely with God was Love, and that makes me think of a mother (not that dads aren't loving!). Maybe that's because I'd felt God's mothering very clearly in the past 25 years since my mom passed on, and I'd more actively thought about the more feminine qualities of God.

Already in the time since Dad's passing, I've had lots of "father" experiences. My boss was right. God's fatherhood has become more vivid to me than ever before. And it heals.

I think I'll be celebrating Father's Day this year after all.

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