THE MID-1980S weren't easy for me. But through it all I began to grasp the fact that, as this issue of the Sentinel brings out, good does not end.

My husband and I had purchased an old home in Texas; we were in the middle of renovations when he suddenly and unexpectedly passed on. I was left with very little income and our two preschool-aged children to care for.

The house would not have sold easily under those conditions. So there seemed to be no choice but for me to learn how to do some of the renovations myself. Since our neighbors across the street were also renovating a house, they taught me how to do a lot of the work and helped me at other times, too. And though our relatives lived far from us, their love and support, and the caring of my church group and other friends, meant a lot.

Still, the wondering about how the kids and I would make it day to day was difficult. I prayed more deeply than I'd ever prayed before, desperate to feel God's strengthening, love-filled husbanding continuing in my life—Isaiah's promise that "thy Maker is thine husband" became an integral part of those prayers (54:5). And I wasn't let down. Every day I studied the Bible and Science and Health, and read articles from the Christian Science magazines. A steady flow of inspiration and assurance came from God.

I literally lived with Mary Baker Eddy's short article "Angels." She had been widowed as a young woman, and during some difficult years had learned to trust deeply in God. "God gives you His spiritual ideas," she wrote, "and in turn, they give you daily supplies. Never ask for to-morrow: it is enough that divine Love is an ever-present help; and if you wait, never doubting, you will have all you need every moment." The article continues: "What a glorious inheritance is given to us through the understanding of omnipresent Love! More we cannot ask: more we do not want: more we cannot have. This sweet assurance is the 'Peace, be still' to all human fears, to suffering of every sort" (Miscellaneous Writings 1883-1896, p. 307).

The spiritual ideas I received did in fact give me "daily supplies" and served as tangible proof that the flow of good in my life hadn't stopped. There were practical ideas for how to earn regular income and still be at home with our children, how to cut coupons and stretch that income further, and how to get help for projects I just couldn't do by myself.

For instance, the idea came to me to teach music play-groups in our home, which brought income and at the same time included my daughters. At another point, I needed to paint the exterior siding of the house, and just when I'd painted all that I could reach, my high school-aged Sunday School class came to my rescue and finished the job.

These experiences taught me to see and accept that there's always a way. Even when demands seem overwhelming, God is there.

When the house was in pretty good shape, I decided it was time to sell it and move closer to my family in another state. However, by then the housing market had gone down so much that I only got enough from the sale to pay off the mortgage; all equity in the house was lost. It was a dizzying feeling to realize that that sum of money, really the only investment I had, was gone. Nevertheless, I kept feeling this reassurance: "[Daughter], thou art ever with me, and all that I have is thine" (Luke 15:31).

Yet in spite of that, during those years I'd gained a greater awareness of God as the infinite source of good for each and every one of His children. I was coming to see that no matter what the circumstances may scream—about loss, lack, or limitation—nothing of real value can ever be lost.

When I moved nearer to my family, I got a part-time job which came with a historic house we could rent. And the children were able to attend a wonderful preschool near where I worked. I also started devoting a great deal of my time to the public healing practice of Christian Science. And shortly after, I married a man with considerable skill in the building, construction, and preservation field. He was establishing his own contracting business while pursuing an advanced degree in architecture. Our resources were stretched thin, to say the least.

Then I became pregnant with our third child, and we felt I should quit my part-time job. Since our rental agreement included my working, we knew we'd have to move. But as I prayed, I kept holding to the certainty of our safety and shelter because God, good itself, was the unchanging factor in our lives. I saw that no matter what changes this new baby brought to our lives, and no matter what changes we'd have to make in our living and employment situations, God's love for us would never change and we could trust in His ongoing care.

Just as we began looking for another place to rent, the idea came to us to offer to buy the historic home, where we still lived, that had been part of my employment agreement. When we approached the company with the idea, it turned out that they'd been thinking of getting out of the "property management" business.

Since our rental needed lots of work before it could be sold at full value, they agreed to let us stay while renovating it—as a credit toward our buying the home. It was a wonderfully creative and satisfactory answer for both the company and our family, and we restored and lived in that home for almost a decade.

Also, the birth of our daughter, which meant that I would be at home, ended up forwarding my work in spiritual healing because I was able to be available full time to those calling for Christian Science treatment. Before too long, my income from the work was contributing substantially to our income. This entire period helped me catch a deeper glimpse of the fact that good is not something finite—to be earned, owned, or lost.

I was experiencing the fact that goodness is a manifestation of God, therefore spiritual and infinite, as whole and complete as God is. Since we live in God, Good, His goodness embraces us constantly. As I really opened more fully to the continuity of those ideas, it was evidenced in our lives. Our needs were met in ways we could never have imagined or planned, and continue to be met today.

The spiritual lessons I've learned assure me in my prayers for the world economy of the continuity of God's goodness in every home, community, village, and country. And I yearn to see it evidenced for my brothers and sisters throughout the world. There can be a calm certainty that good is unending, and that "Love is impartial and universal in its adaptation and bestowals. It is the open fount which cries, 'Ho, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters'" (Science and Health, p. 13).

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