PARENTING May 26, 2008 Issue

NO MAN IN THE MIDDLE

JOE BENEDICT

HAVE YOU ever felt caught in the middle as a parent? I sure have! There was a time when I felt helpless to improve a sensitive family situation. That's when one clear spiritual insight broke through my discouragement.

Last summer, I remarried, and suddenly two families were combined. It was a busy time filled with new beginnings. But initially there were so many moments when it felt to me as if I was stuck in the middle of disagreements or concerns between one of my daughters and someone else in our family.

I recall a particular time when there was such discomfort that things reached a breaking point. I'd been hearing worries and complaints from both of them for a couple of months. Both felt they had good reasons to react to each other and felt justified; both wanted my love and support. I tried to provide them both with the care they needed, but it felt that I was coming up short as a parent. I was running out of answers, and communication between all parties had broken down.