PARENTING February 18, 2008 Issue

PEELING BACK THE LABELS

COLLEEN DOUGLASS

THE INNOCENT SMILES of children throughout the world prompt me to consider what labels people are assigning to youth. It's fairly common to hear phrases such as "hyperactive," "learning disabled," or "conduct disorder" in discussions on child development. Although concerned adults are doing their best to provide care for their children, I'm convinced that labels aren't helpful when seeking permanent solutions. As a stepparent of three (now adult) children, there were times when I was challenged to cherish what was spiritually true about them, rather than label them with the latest theories.

Kevin, the youngest of my husband's three children, came to live with us when he was 13. He was an active kid—in fact, so active that a couple of years earlier he'd been diagnosed as hyperactive and put on medication to control his activity level.

To be perfectly honest, I wasn't sure I could handle living with him on a more permanent basis (sometimes he was a handful!), but I was willing to try. Part of Kevin's reason for wanting to live with us was that, before his folks divorced, he'd appreciated going to a Christian Science Sunday school. And Kevin didn't feel like himself when he took pills. He hoped that my husband and I, both Christian Scientists, would choose to help him learn more about his spiritual identity and find healing through prayer, rather than require him to take the medication.