Article January 14, 2008 Issue

GUIDANCE FOR A RELATIONSHIP THAT WORKS

R. RYDER STEVENS

WHEN I SERVED as a United States military chaplain, I had to find a method of counseling that was spiritually based and in keeping with my beliefs in the reality of Christian healing. The popular systems were based on psychology, and seemed to be more about patching up or plastering over deeper issues that I knew needed healing.

My counseling often involved marital issues, and I was inspired in many ways by the insights of Mary Baker Eddy and her Biblically based directions about marriage. She emphasized practicing Christ Jesus' Sermon on the Mount (see Matt., chaps. 5–7). Mrs. Eddy described Jesus' teachings as "the heart of Christianity," and as having "direct application to human needs" (Miscellaneous Writings 1883–1896, p. 25).

I found that in those few short chapters in the book of Matthew, Jesus revealed the nature of God and our relationship to Him, how God loves each of us, and how we should treat one another because of this relationship. The Golden Rule anchors Jesus' sermon: "Always treat others as you would like them to treat you" (Matt. 7:12, New English Bible). I've found this statement to be an essential part of living Christianity within a marriage. And I encouraged the couples I talked with to strive through their faith, by living their prayers, and to always treat one another as they wished to be treated.