Article January 14, 2008 Issue

GAINING ALTITUDE ON MARRIAGE

MARGARET ROGERS

THE MAN AND WOMAN to my left hadn't met before we occupied a row on a recent cross-country flight. When he wedged himself into the middle seat, they began the usual exchange about where they lived and worked. Mile by mile their conversation grew into a nonstop, sometimes intense, dialogue that centered largely on marriage.

Although I kept at my work (note to self: try the headset next time), I learned more about their personal lives than I know about my best friends. She was divorced once, he twice. She'd been dating for several years; he'd recently remarried. "Three's a charm," he quipped ruefully.

The sum of their discussion might boil down to a point from Sociology 101: People see things differently—whether the issue is balancing work and family, money, or the purpose of life. These intelligent, good folks were trying to define what makes relationship work. Yet even after five hours at 38,000 feet, it felt to me that things never really got off the ground. I was heartened that once the woman made a brief reference to prayer. To me, that's the starting point for gaining real healing wisdom on the subject of marriage.

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