I got a 'next time'

I THOUGHT I was well prepared, but the muddled words that came out of my mouth in the radio studio didn't sound like it! I had given hundreds of talks on spirituality and healing across North America and had frequently been interviewed by radio talk show hosts. But when I arrived at this particular radio station to have what I considered a routine chat, my thoughts turned into mush. I was even unsure about my talking points. It didn't help that the interviewer didn't know who I was or why I was there. He had just been handed my background information and was fumbling through the papers while he was searching for a direction to take our discussion.

The door clunked shut behind us. The man at the controls flicked a few switches, and we launched into our session. Out came the first question. Words tumbled out of my mouth in response, but I wasn't myself. My thinking had clouded. I felt bewildered, as if I were mesmerized. I even misstated a fact! I couldn't keep a clear train of thought, and by the time our five minutes were finished, I felt defeated. I walked out of the studio in a stupor, wondering why I had spoken so poorly. I wanted to do the recording over again, but that wasn't going to happen. I got one chance, the taping was done, and I blew it. I was worried. How would such a weak performance convince listeners that I was a credible speaker? I had let my sponsors down. I wished the interview had never occurred.

After plunking myself down in my car, I turned to God for inspiration that would snap me out of my daze and restore my confidence. I pondered a sentence I knew from Mary Baker Eddy's book Science and Health: "The very circumstance, which your suffering sense deems wrathful and afflictive, Love can make an angel entertained unawares" (p. 574). I sure needed an angel! I needed spiritual help to save me from despair and remove this blemish on my record as a qualified speaker. In what form would this angel appear? I wondered. I knew from my study of Christian Science that God loved me, cared for me, watched over me, and protected me from harm. God is a forgiving God, an understanding Father-Mother who doesn't tally faults and hold them against His children.

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July 18, 2005

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