PARENTING December 12, 2005 Issue

YOUR PARENT, TOO

PAMELA VON RECKERS

As A Young Mother, I spent hours each day driving my children to and from preschool and kindergarten. Just getting my three little ones from the house to the car was an adventure. Gathering coats, diaper bag, and little backpacks, then buckling each child into a car seat, was quite a job. Once we got into the car, they would often begin to fight. It was tricky trying to figure out who had started the fight and who was right or wrong, while keeping my concentration on driving.

One day the situation got so bad that I felt I just couldn't take it anymore. In desperation I reached out to God and prayed: "God, these are Your children; I know You made them in Your image and likeness. What do I need to learn so I can see them the way You do? And how can I help them see themselves and each other that way, too?"

To my surprise, I found myself saying things such as this to the children: "Well, that didn't work very well, did it? Now let's try to figure out how we can do this better. Let's start over. Blythe, you pretend you are Mommy, and Max, you pretend you are Blythe, and I'll be you, Max." I would began the role playing by creating another situation similar to the one that caused the argument. We would play the game until we found several ways to solve the problem. We had fun doing it, and our rides continued much more smoothly!