Article August 9, 2004 Issue

Bach PLAYED COOL

How a pianist calmed the public performance butterflies

By David A. Cornell

ALL THE WAY through high school I took music lessons. There was a piano at home, a marching band to join at school, and an Explorer Scouts jazz band to play in. My parents provided the piano and clarinet lessons. Plenty of performance opportunities came my way—at school concerts, dances, and recitals. But the ones that challenged me the most were the solo piano recitals. I distinctly remember the first one.

My teacher and I had worked together on a piece during lessons, and I had practiced it at home. I even played it at the recital hall with my teacher serving as an audience of one. But when performance day came, it was as though my fingers had turned into soft butter. I felt alone on that stage, exposed, responsible for a perfect performance, and definitely inadequate for the task. Fear won round one.

Trying to perform for an audience seemed for me like an episode of the old TV series Mission Impossible—without the impossible-madepossible ending. I don't recall what the music sounded like in that first recital, but everyone was very polite and encouraging afterwards. And I saw what I needed clearly enough. If I was going to continue performing in public, I needed to defeat the fear.