Article June 21, 2004 Issue

Stop the insults

By Marilyn Jones Senior Writer

You're at dinner in a nice restaurant. The couple you're with, sitting across the table, are discussing something on the menu. The murmur from the conversations of other diners around you, the cozy atmosphere of candlelight and background music, and the pretty flowers on the table all lend an air of intimacy to the wonderful evening ahead.

But then you sense something is not going well. Your friends, the couple, seem to be disagreeing about something. You tense up. You know what might be coming. And it does. "You're just an idiot," the wife says in disgust, tossing aside her menu. "You're the idiot," he fires back.

And then they're off and running. Once again, the litany of criticism and insults becomes louder and more heated, to the point that other people turn, looks of concern on their faces. Everyone feels uncomfortable. And you sit there wishing you had canceled this evening's plans. You should have known, because these people are always spoiling the atmosphere with their verbal abuse of each other.

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