Article June 21, 2004 Issue

More than a survivor

The effects of an abusive past can be healed through prayer in the present moment.

I slept on the hall floor when I was little. Not because we lacked space, but because my parents just didn't want me. Eventually, I was allowed a bedroom, but the years brought abuse of all kinds: physical, sexual, and emotional. For most of my childhood and teen days, I moved in and out of darkness. Confusion, isolation, and loneliness overwhelmed me. And I didn't know anyone who could possibly understand.

Often, the closest friends I had were two books that rested on my dresser—the Bible, and Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy. Both of these books spoke the spiritual truth of God and His creation in a way that made sense to me. They presented power as based on Spirit instead of matter and told of a love-filled, meaningful existence that was available to everyone. I believed the promise those books offered, and I sought it earnestly, because inside, I yearned to do more than just survive. I wanted to thrive and live a normal life. And somehow I knew that the ideas in these books held the ticket to my journey out of abuse and into a brighter future.

My progress out of darkness and into light wasn't made overnight. The abuse defined my childhood, and its aftereffects clouded my adult years. However, glimmers of truth along the way gave light to my path and made things more bearable. There were moments when I knew God's love as a living, tangible power. And times, too, when I cried bitter tears and felt His comfort.

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