What about marriage?

'I want to get married ." I'll never get married!" "He's too young to get married." "They shouldn't get they're all wrong for each other." "He wants to get married, but I don't." "There's no point in getting married—we'll probably just wind up divorced." "I'm so glad I'm not married." "My marriage is my whole life."

I guess I've heard every one of those statements on the subject of marriage. Everyone has an opinion about it. But what I've come to see—after having been married and then single again—is that every marriage is unique and only the people inside a marriage can speak with any authority on it. Also, having experienced both sides of the coin, so to speak, I will say that I found being married to be wonderful, difficult, fulfilling, lonely, and an adventure. And I'll say exactly the same about being single. Because no matter whom you're sharing your life with—one special person or a big family or just a few dear friends—in the end, the one relationship that determines your satisfaction, peace of mind, and sense of purpose and fulfillment is the bond you share with God. That's everyone's primary connection, and the quality of that connection supports and defines every other relationship.

Years ago, when I was feeling pretty untethered, searching for a love that would make me feel valued and connected, I came across an article in the Sentinel titled "God is the answer." Sure, I thought. It's always supposed to be God—but what about something I can feel? Nevertheless, I read on and was surprised to find a kindred spirit. The author described the exact feelings of sadness and disconnection I'd been going through. Through her prayers, she discovered that it really was God who was her source of love. And she made that love real in her life.

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May 24, 2004

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