SENTINEL WATCH March 17, 2003 Issue

Hope lightens mental darkness

By Lois Rae Carlson

There was a time when, to others, everything in my life looked normal, even wonderful. I did have plenty to be grateful for—a husband who loved me and provided well for me and our charming toddler. But I was numbed by depression and a mental darkness I couldn't escape.

An intolerable bitterness that I'd been holding in my heart came to the surface after a bike accident that knocked me unconscious. Afterward, somehow, I got up and continued on my errands, slowly, and walked my bike home, one arm limp and useless. I prayed for healing, which consisted mostly of crying uncontrollable tears.

With the prayer of a Christian Science practitioner, I felt some bones in my arm realigning. The pain stopped, and I used a sling to keep my arm protected. But still I was overwhelmed by the emptiness and disconnection I felt from life and joy.

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