SENTINEL WATCH March 10, 2003 Issue

It begins with an instant

By Jon Harder

WHEN someone is caught in the icy grip of intense fear, it's still possible to become aware — even if only for an instant — that something very different from evil is there to be felt. It's tangible and good — a call just to be still, even when you think you can't possibly do that. But the briefest awareness that it's actually possible to think for oneself, even in the face of fear that seems overwhelming, also brings the promise of more such moments. And it only takes an instant to begin.

A calming moment of heaven-sent peace is the beginning of fresh readiness to face down anxiety and act responsibly in spite of it. It's a kind of split-second prayer. And I've been doing a lot of this sort of praying lately in trying to follow the wild whipsawing of reporting: "Cities in America and Europe have the jitters over war and terror threats"; "Duct tape now"; "Duct tape not yet." These reports remind me of other stressful times when brief instants of intelligent reassurance became longer moments of real peace from within. And it's those instants I remember most. They remain long after fear has faded.

When the Cuban missile crisis of 1962 came to a peaceful end, everyone was greatly relieved. But as a naval officer who had received a specific threat of hostile fire against my ship, heavily loaded with aviation gasoline, the relief was unforgettable. I had to grapple with intense fear right where I stood, uncomfortably close to the South China coast. And it was an instant of deep calm coming straight from the divine presence that pulled me through to do what I needed to do right then.

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