Article February 4, 2002 Issue

Never running on empty

By Sylvia Messner

DIVORCE left me feeling emotionally debilitated, barely able to work due to extreme depression, and struggling to return home to Arizona. A temporary move to a residence offered by friends put me in a small rural town with a low-paying, but undemanding, part-time local job. Basics like a decent supermarket and shops required driving half an hour down a mountain. My church was an hour and a half away. My old car was showing much wear, and it seemed the more I tried to get out of town and look for a better job, the deeper in debt I got. I felt I was in quicksand, running on empty.

When my car broke down out of town for the second time in about a month, I had to spend the night with friends. The mechanic who wrote up the $300 repair bill told me the car was still not sounding right and that I should consider finding a new one. I wanted to cry, and it seemed to be taking him forever to complete the paperwork.

"If he'll just quickly write up the bill," I thought, "I can control the tears until I start driving home. Then I can cry for an hour and be OK."

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