Article July 9, 2001 Issue

I FORGAVE HIM

My first marriage was a disaster. There were drugs, drinking, and physical assaults on both sides. I finally left after I got pregnant, since I was afraid my husband would hurt the baby.

We got divorced and ceased all contact. I got free of the drugs and stopped drinking, and went on with my life. But I carried with me the aftereffects of those violent episodes, and had to deal with rage, fear, and a feeling of worthlessness. These deep-rooted feelings kept me from truly enjoying life.

Eventually I married a wonderful man. He loved my son and wanted to adopt him. But that required contact with my ex-husband, and those old, destructive feelings resurfaced. Would I never be free?

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