"Undivorced from truth"

"I feel more married to him than I do to you—do you love me enough to let me go?"

We had been married for many years and had several children. Yet one Sunday afternoon came this thunderbolt out of a clear sky. The effect was shattering. I had always thought of myself as a "family man," devoted to both wife and children. I had thought of separation and divorce as things that happened to other people. And yet now my wife suddenly appeared to be determined to take a path to the divorce courts. We were soon separated, with my children visiting with me only on weekends.

My entire life seemed to fall apart. Although I had not realized it before, I had equated happiness and harmony with the presence of a loved companion. When this was suddenly withdrawn, it seemed for a time that my very reason for existence was gone. An enormous void seemed to take the place of the security that I had known and taken for granted. Life seemed pointless, and I merely went through the motions when at work. The suffering was so severe that I lost much weight, was prone to accident, and often was ill.

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Dear Sentinel
May 29, 1995

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