One Father's Day weekend our local paper carried an article on grief counseling. It talked of many symptoms but gave no real solutions—just discussed how to "cope."

I was familiar with the symptoms the article detailed: the questions about death and "afterlife," the tears, the memories— good and bad—and the resentment. I had been fifteen when my dad passed on. He wasn't a Christian Scientist and had been in the hospital for a short time. I hadn't seen him for a week and all of a sudden he was gone.

Yes, I knew the symptoms of grief. But even at fifteen I felt I knew where I'd find the solution. I had been raised in Christian Science, and for the previous couple of years I had really been studying it. It was changing my life, giving me a greater sense of freedom through learning of my spiritual identity as God's child. But now I needed this Science of Christianity because of another name it has: the Comforter.

In the book of John, Jesus promises us "another Comforter" and calls it "the Spirit of truth." ^{See John 14:16, 17.} This Comforter, bringing to the world the scientific understanding of God, was revealed in 1866 through Mrs. Eddy's discovery of Christian Science. She wrote a book entitled Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, and today that book and the Bible serve together to bring the Comforter to everyone. I studied these two books and found the comfort and healing I needed. Healing grief is the solution, I found, and this article is written to share this comfort with you.

Let me present some of the questions that challenged me and the answers of comfort I found.

What's happening to my dad? Is he all right?

Oftentimes after loved ones have passed on we wonder what's happening to them. We may be afraid for them. The unknown can often seem strange and fearful. But the question of life after death is not an unanswerable one. Remember Jesus' resurrection after his crucifixion. He rose from the grave for many reasons, but one reason was to show the disciples that death does not end the life of man. Man's real life is of God and cannot end, and even one's human sense of life continues, in belief, until man's deathlessness and complete spirituality are proved. Jesus demonstrated this on numerous occasions as well as through his own resurrection.

The Bible is full of promises of eternal life and God's never-ending care. The very familiar twenty-third Psalm assures us, "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me." ^{Ps. 23:4.} Christ Jesus actually proved these comforting statements to be truth. Our loved one may have gone "through the valley of the shadow of death," but it's through the valley— not trapped in it. And God's comfort and divine leading are ever available. There is always safe sanctuary in God, divine Love, and we can be sure of that.

The same loving Master who showed us that life continues after so-called death also stated that the Christ, the true idea of divine Life, is always present, here and beyond. Jesus said: "Lo, I am with you alway" and "In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you." ^{Matt. 28:20; John 14:2.}

Science and Health—the Christian Science textbook—also assures us that our loved one is going on. It states: "In the illusion of death, mortals wake to the knowledge of two facts: (1) that they are not dead; (2) that they have but passed the portals of a new belief" and "No final judgment awaits mortals, for the judgment-day of wisdom comes hourly and continually, even the judgment by which mortal man is divested of all material error." ^{Science and Health, pp. 251, 291.}

Why do I resent his passing? I love God; did He want my dad to leave our family?

God never decrees death, never "wants" anyone to die, for any reason. God is Life itself, and man reflects that ever-present Life, no matter what the physical senses are reporting. This spiritual sense of Life releases us from blaming God for someone's passing. Bitterness toward God or the one gone on is really just another form of grief, based on a misunderstanding of God's true nature as divine Love.

Actually the "resentment" may really be hurt and fear. Feeling alone and uncertain as to our own future, we may be confused into a feeling disguised as resentment. Healing the hurt and fear will also heal the resentment.

Hurt is often a sense of emptiness, a void or vacuum felt deep in our heart. We may feel as if part of our very selfhood has been taken away. The Comforter, divine Science, provides the needed understanding and spiritual view that fills the empty space. It teaches us of God's nearness and how His presence brings us warmth of heart.

Christian Science reveals God as Love, as Father, Mother, guide, and guard. It opens our thought Spiritward so that God reveals Himself to us in the exact individual way we need. God loves you as His child. This love is infinitely greater than any human sense of love, and God's support is enveloping you and the one gone on—right now.

How can I stop the tears? Just remembering good times is not enough. In fact, the remembrance can bring tears.

For me the answer was to gain a new, spiritual perception of who my dad really was. In studying Science and Health I found these statements, which explain my dad's—and everyone's—true selfhood: "In Science man is the offspring of Spirit. The beautiful, good, and pure constitute his ancestry." Later in that same paragraph the textbook states, "Spirit is his primitive and ultimate source of being; God is his Father, and Life is the law of his being." ^{Ibid., p. 63.} In truth—the very truth my dad would learn to live and love—my dad was and continued to be God's child, an idea of God! An idea of God could never be destroyed, but lives on, unfolding the goodness of God.

He was and is God's expression. All the good he gave our family (and it was a lot) was his reflection of God's love in his heart, and he shared it with the rest of us. There's no sorrow in that recollection, only gratitude. I was so grateful for all the instances of love shared in our family. I found that my gratitude healed the tears.

These words from a loved poem by Mrs. Eddy have wiped away much of my sorrow:

Who's going to supply our needs now?

That was a difficult question for my family to face, and we faced some tough financial challenges. But we prayed, knowing God would help us meet our daily needs. The real source of good in every family is always God, and that supply of good is unending. These reassuring words from Psalms offered much support: "How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them!" ^{Ps. 139:17.}

Acknowledging God's omnipresence and faithfully loving Him filled our hearts with joy, strength, and courage. The recognition of God as our Father, our Life, Mind, and Principle, opened the door to the infinitude of good that God is. We felt His love all around us and were able to express that unselfed love more to others.

Expressing all the lovely qualities that our Father bestows is man's purpose. These qualities include love, peace, harmony, unselfishness, goodness, order, grace, activity, integrity, and many more. Such qualities are natural to us because natural to God, and we are His children, the effect of His goodness.

As these qualities become a part of our lives, they will lift our saddened thought to the achievement of great good.

In our family the supply we needed came as we acknowledged God as the source of our intelligence. My father had made some wise investments before his passing, and we realized two things. The intelligence my dad expressed to make those decisions came from God. We needed to know this, and it gave us courage and conviction. It also confirmed for us the fact that the needed intelligence was still with us and would guide our footsteps as we listened quietly.

We made it our duty to express the qualities of God, His goodness, intelligence, lovingkindness, and joy. Living these qualities to the best of our ability strengthened us in the foundation of Christ. Continuing in this way, we found employment opportunities that helped us further express the attributes of God. Demonstrating the love of God supplied all our needs, including a college education for my sister and me.

Am I fatherless?

I remember the first time someone told me I had no father. I grew cold inside and scared. From that moment on I resolved to learn more of God's fatherhood. God is everyone's Father. Jesus taught us that. In words that touch the youngest heart, he said, "Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name." ^{Matt. 6:9.} Those are the first words of the prayer he gave us, the Lord's Prayer. I learned to love that whole prayer and to make it my companion.

When I would read from the Bible or Science and Health about God, I was reading about my Father, my God. I knew I was embraced in the continuing revelation of God's love for man. I was not Fatherless—or Motherless, for that matter—but inherited the love, grace, intelligence, and strength I needed from an ever-present divine Parent.

God is the creator of each one of us, our Father-Mother. All the good in our lives comes from Him, and its source should be acknowledged with humility. God's law of divine good enfolds all His children. Now is the time to start recognizing God as our only Father, our only Mother. We may or may not have a human dad or mom with us, but let's all have only one Father-Mother.

How do you know when grief is really healed?

For me it was wiped away by Love. I could feel God's love for me, and I was growing in my love for Him. This love filled our home and restored it to the happy place it had been before my dad's passing. Also I felt a greater love and respect for my dad, whom I already loved very much. I could see that all the good he expressed to me was given him by our mutual Father-Mother God. Also the same divine Love that now guides me is just as surely guiding him. My memories of my dad are no longer tear-filled, but happy remembrances of divine Love embracing both of us.

In healing grief our part is to follow Jesus' command concerning further discipleship. This is a loving way to cherish each generation. Our Master said, "As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love." ^{John 15:9.} This is the way to heal grief.