When my husband began graduate school, our son was three...

KATHLEEN WITTKE SCHWARTZ

When my husband began graduate school, our son was three months old. I was happy to be the one working to support us for the coming two years while my husband pursued his studies. But I was not so eager to have someone else caring for our child through what I felt were crucial learning periods in his life. Nevertheless, we left the baby with a sitter during the day, and I worked downtown.

For three months I yearned to know how best to fulfill my role as a mother, and to know what was best for the child. I reasoned from both sides of the issue. On the one hand, I saw the merits of yielding a false sense of responsibility that made me feel I had to be there in order for the baby to be properly mothered. On the other, I wanted to say no to fears and barriers that kept me from being at home with our child. Whichever arrangement would best serve God, I prayed to be willing to accept.

I considered my motives for working at home, and I questioned what talent I had to offer others. Because of my secretarial skills, I thought of typing. Certainly there were students at the university my husband was attending who needed typing services. With each virtuous and constructive thought came countering skepticism. Would this work be reliable, and how realistic was I being about my financial responsibility?

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