"God is my Life, Health, and Strength"

Though from childhood my health had been extremely delicate, it was not until the summer of 1894 that I became an invalid. During that fall and winter I fought disease, aided by untiring physicians and nurses, but becoming more and more helpless.

In the late winter I was carried to Chicago (my home was then in Burlington, Iowa), where for five months I had the best of surgical care, undergoing a severe operation. It was during this experience that I first consciously realized the ever-presence of divine help. Isaiah, 41:10, has ever since been to me an illumined text. In June I returned to my home, seemingly much better, but it was only a few weeks before the same old struggle began afresh.

About Christmas, 1895, I gave up and tried to reconcile myself to going. What a month of mental agony I spent! I turned toward God, feeling the warmth of divine Love, and groping for more light—as I had never done before. I could not frame a prayer, but in the night-watches I have stretched out my arms simply crying, "Father! Father!" The cry was not in vain, peace came to my soul, and for the first time in my life I could say with my whole heart, "Thy will be done." Lo! when I lay still, simply trusting the Father's love, the blessing came.

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February 23, 1899

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