Facing my fears on the mountain
As a counselor-in-training, or CIT, at a summer camp for Christian Scientists, I worked in a mountaineering program. One of the hardest activities we did with campers was peaking mountains—in other words, hiking to the top of a 14,000-foot mountain.
As a camper, I’d always been nervous about our backpacking trips because peaking mountains is very difficult. But as a staff member, I wanted to overcome those fears so I could be there for my campers and even help them with their own fears. My first thought about how to approach this was to pray.
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As I prayed, a line from a hymn in the Christian Science Hymnal came to me. The hymn is from a poem written by Mary Baker Eddy, and the line that came to thought was, “O make me glad for every scalding tear” (Poems, p. 4).
I’d always been nervous about our backpacking trips, because peaking mountains is very difficult.
I thought, “Well, that doesn’t sound too good. Shouldn’t I be thinking something more positive?” But the more I thought about it, the more I could relate the idea of “every scalding tear” to the difficult hike itself and my fears about it. I saw that I could actually be happy about this challenge, because it was an opportunity to turn to God for help rather than struggling on my own and, ultimately, to feel closer to God.
The hike started off well. As we made our way up the mountain, the views became more and more beautiful, and this also helped me change my perspective. I was grateful to be able to take this hike, to view the breathtaking scenery, and to be having fun. Yes, the hike was hard, but it allowed me to see the world from a different perspective than the one I was used to.
As we made our way up higher, the first line from the same hymn popped into my head. It says, “O gentle presence, peace and joy and power.” I really connected with this idea because it helped me recognize that God was with me at every stage of this ascent. Each time I started to feel tired, or just wanted to get to the peak faster, I thought about this idea. It reminded me that I embody unlimited strength and joy as God’s expression. Knowing this allowed me to focus on anything my campers needed help with rather than worrying about how I was feeling. As a CIT, my job wasn’t just to get up the mountain; it was to help my campers finish, as well—and hopefully even enjoy the experience! So I made a consistent effort to think of others’ needs before my own, and both ideas from the hymn helped me do that.
My fears dissolved, and I genuinely felt the presence of divine joy and spiritual strength supporting us all as we went forward.
My fears dissolved, and I genuinely felt the presence of divine joy and spiritual strength supporting us all as we went forward. To my surprise, even as we reached the final stage of our climb, I was able to encourage and support my campers, and even laugh and joke, more than I ever would have thought I could’ve at the end of such a demanding experience. I think this helped my campers have a good time, too, and I’m grateful that I was able to help them during an activity I’d initially been worried about. In the end, my group peaked Mt. Yale, at 14,119 feet, and we all had an amazing time together.