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May 11, 2021
When the big deadline was looming
It was the weekend, and I was working on the final draft of a dissertation, the biggest paper I’d ever written. Actually, this “biggest paper” was more like a book-length report on three years of study, research, and interviews. This assignment—a requirement for graduation—was due on Monday.
It was really good stuff. But here I was, almost at the finish line, and I was literally falling asleep at my keyboard. I’d open my eyes, check to see what I had last typed, and then type some more . . . only to nod off again. At this pace, I couldn’t possibly hand in my project on time. I felt a mild sense of panic beginning to gnaw at me. I was putting my whole self into this work, and yet it seemed like I had no more left in me.
Wait—that was it! I was putting my whole self into it. I wasn’t praying! Childhood lessons came to mind: Jesus admitted, “I can do nothing on my own” and “I carry out the will of the one who sent me, not my own will” (John 5:30, New Living Translation). In other words, Jesus knew that his work wasn’t about his personal abilities but about his divine source—God. And because he understood that he wasn’t doing anything on his own, he didn’t have to work really, really hard; all his good work flowed naturally from the infinite source of all good. His real work was in paying attention and following through.
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