Starting with the ‘grateful game’

Several months ago, I was facing more trouble than ever before in what seemed like every area of my life—finances, relationships, and health. Troubling issues seemed to attack me all at once. I’d been trying to pray, but I still felt as though I were falling into a hole. One day, I was talking to my sister on the phone, raging about this deluge of problems. She listened patiently and then said, “Sounds like you need to play the grateful game.” This was my sister’s attempt to snap me out of my mood. 

Before I came back to Christian Science two years ago, I’d often used gratitude as a quick way to lift my mood, but never really understood its deeper significance until recently. At that moment I felt far from grateful. Still, I tried to convince myself otherwise. I looked around the room. “OK,” I thought, “I’m grateful for this soft couch I’m sitting on and the books on the shelf, and … oh yeah, for the light coming from that lamp over there.” I paused for all of five seconds, prepared to let a warm feeling of gratitude wash over me.

“Nope,” I told my sister, “It’s not working.” Her next suggestion stemmed from popular therapy. “Write down everything you’re angry about,” she suggested. “Just get it all out.” 

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