I’m a list maker. The majority of my lists are “to-do” lists for home or work. They are helpful in organizing my day, and checking off my accomplishments brings a certain satisfaction. But some lists—on occasions when a decision has to be made—contain columns headed by “pro” and “con.” Understandable. 

When I was working on one of that kind of list a week or so ago, I found it mostly populated by “cons.” And then I remembered one of my most significant list experiences back in 1992. At that time, I needed to decide whether or not to leave the job I’d been in for nine years (part of an 18-year career), to accept a new job and career direction. My list-making began in earnest, and my “pro” and “con” columns were growing almost equally, with interesting and important factors to be aware of. 

While I can’t honestly say I thought my answer would be apparent when I tallied the columns—presumably giving most weight to the longer one—I found that as I added to each column, the answer wasn’t even close to becoming clear. Though I sincerely thought I had been praying in the right way, while making insightful entries to my list, I realized that a deeper level of prayer was needed. And that simple realization led to a series of events that eventually revealed God’s answer for me.

Two days before I had to inform the personnel department of my decision, I attended a Wednesday testimony meeting at a Christian Science church, arriving early for some quiet time. I opened the Christian Science Hymnal at random, and my eyes fell on a hymn I didn’t recall seeing or singing before, No. 169. These were the words that jumped out at me:

 Lead, kindly Light, amid the encircling gloom,
    Lead Thou me on;
The night is dark, and I am far from home,
    Lead Thou me on.
Keep Thou my feet; I do not ask to see
The distant scene; one step enough for me.
I was not ever thus, nor prayed that Thou
    Shouldst lead me on;
I loved to choose and see my path; but now
    Lead Thou me on.

At that moment it became clear to me that regardless of how many pros and cons there might be in any given situation, God wouldn’t keep me wondering or abandon me to guessing—in the short term or the long term! 

This realization mirrored two well-known Bible truths: “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding,” and, “In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths” (Proverbs 3:5, 6)—truths that I was about to see at work. 

It was clearly time to become very quiet, and listen fully to God’s direction for me.

One of the items on the con side of the list I was compiling, was concern that if this new job didn’t work out for some reason or last very long, I would have given up a career path that was holding distinct promise for me, even though I wasn’t entirely fulfilled by it. That hymn made it plain that if God was leading, I didn’t need to wonder what the future would hold; and although I didn’t know the answer at that point, I cherished the idea that it wasn’t up to me to decide.

I’d been vacationing with my parents that week, and though they were well aware of my new employment opportunity, they hadn’t expressed any opinions about it. On decision day, I awoke, concerned that I still didn’t know what to do, and told this to my mother. She gently asked me if I had asked God. That simple prompting helped me realize that it was clearly time to completely forget about the list, become very quiet, and listen fully to God’s direction for me. 

Several hours later, while I was in the car driving home and listening to a recording of music performed on the organ of The Mother Church in Boston, gentle tears rolled down my cheeks. My answer had come. I should accept the new position. And those tears were what I called my “neon equivalent”—a message loud and clear from God. From that moment on, I was completely calm, and later called the personnel department to accept the position. There was absolutely no wondering on my part whether I’d made the right decision.

The following Monday, my work family regretted that I would soon be leaving, but rejoiced in this new opportunity for me. The new job was perfect for me and the organization in every way, and it lasted for 17 joyful and fulfilling years. 

So, what am I doing about the list I was working on recently? Well, thankfully, once again God trumped it and gave me the exact answer I needed—an answer I know I can trust!