I shone a spiritual light on Seasonal Affective Disorder

After a hard winter, most of us would gladly exchange gray skies for a few days of sunshine. Travel brochures tempt us with promises of sun-filled getaways. But while a few days away may be pleasant, it is not a permanent solution to Seasonal Affective Disorder, or SAD.

During a particularly dull and damp summer nearly eight years ago, I suffered from all the symptoms of SAD. I had a bad case of the blues and I couldn’t shake it. I felt tired and listless during waking hours even though I was getting plenty of sleep. My husband noticed the change in my thought and behavior. I was struggling with feelings of depression and there was no end insight. Nearly everyone I talked with was convinced that lack of sunshine adversely affects moods. I heard about it on TV and read about it in the newspaper. I identified with SAD and felt that this was my problem.

Many stores sell special lamps that produce an artificial sunlight meant to combat seasonal depression. And that’s only one of the marketed cures. I tried some of the other recommended remedies, but they didn’t work.

As I stared out the window at the rain, I put aside the travel brochures I’d collected. Instead, I reached for my copy of Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures. It had been a while since I’d read this book written by Mary Baker Eddy, who discovered Christian Science. I was busy at work and I’d let my job interfere with my prayer time. Now I promised myself I would make spiritual study a priority. I wanted a permanent solution and because Christian Science had done so much for me already, I felt confident that this study would help me figure out how to deal with the depression.

I felt I could improve my mental health by understanding more about my spiritual identity. I was happy to realign myself with God’s divine ideas, which had never failed me in the past.

I set my alarm to wake me 30 minutes earlier in the morning, so I'd have a peaceful block of time for study. “I’m worth it,” I said to myself.

I was comforted by the references to light throughout the Bible and Science and Health. This light isn’t limited to the sun, but is actually spiritual awareness. It’s clear that God’s light can never be extinguished. It’s not dependent on the weather or even the sun itself. It’s not physical at all.

God’s light is ever present during those long days, and even months, without sun. As my dad once told me when I was young, “Just because it’s cloudy, doesn’t mean the sun isn’t up there.” Understanding that God is always with us, even when gloomy thoughts or circumstances tell us otherwise, is a step toward freedom.

Spiritual light is easier to find when we discover its source, God. Science and Health explains, “‘God is All-in-all,’ and the light of ever-present Love illumines the universe.” This promise inspired me to look beyond the gloom, which seemed to obscure the light, to something my heart could feel, even though my eyes couldn’t see it.

I realized that my own dull and dreary thoughts, rather than the lack of outdoor light, were the cause of my unhappiness. I’d let my physical senses dictate how I was feeling, instead of being aware of the presence of God.

I began to see that there was no room for depression when I was surrounded by God’s goodness and love. I started to feel that I was under God’s absolute care. I had a renewed trust in the fact that God did not create anything bad, so depression couldn’t control me. I embraced God’s universal laws of goodness and love, and they brought healing to my life.

Things changed quickly. I knew I had been cured once my dreary, hopeless thoughts were replaced by spiritual light. The days were still cold and rainy, but I began to enjoy them, rather than dread them, as I reintroduced myself to the ideas explored in the Bible and Science and Health.

As I grew closer to God, I uncovered a vital part of my being—my spiritual identity—and I felt whole once again. Once I made spiritual study a priority in my life, all symptoms of depression vanished. I’ve remained free of depression ever since.

Come next winter, instead of worrying about SAD, I know I’ll continue to be illuminated by God’s love. It’s the only light that never burns out. And it burns for everyone.

Ever-present light:

Science and Health
503:12-15
72:9-12 As
189:3

King James Bible
Gen. 1:3,4
Ps. 18:28