Bowling alone?
Originally published March 6, 2025
For a few years now, I have been praying in response to reports of deepening divisions and isolation among people. A book titled Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community by Robert D. Putnam (New York: Simon & Schuster, 2000) has provided some useful insights that suggest specific issues that I can address through prayer.
Putnam notes a drop in participation in traditional social and civic activities, which has led to feelings of isolation, loneliness, and disconnectedness from family, friends, and neighbors. He writes that, by contrast, regular engagement with others builds “social capital.” This term refers to a network of relationships and resources within a community that diminishes loneliness and aids in connectedness, trustworthiness, and mutually respectful relationships.
I’ve found that isolation and diminishing social capital can be addressed effectively through prayer—through growing closer to God and gaining a better understanding of Him as our Father-Mother and of our identity as the expression of His nature as infinite good. Praying to be more aware of the goodness of God in our everyday experiences and as expressed by others is a good way to start. We see God’s goodness reflected in spiritual qualities such as compassion, patience, and forgiveness, which support the brotherhood and sisterhood of mankind. They make it easier to achieve and maintain a spiritual sense of community.
Our loving Father-Mother parents us all 24/7, meeting every human need, including companionship.
Christ Jesus, the master Christian, taught the importance of seeing in everyone all of God’s qualities, which are inherent in us as the reflection of divine Love. He showed his followers how to love and care for one another just as God cares for us, for only through God’s pure love can we heal the ills of the world. His disciples worked and ate communally and were continually learning from their Teacher and one another. They went out into the world, not alone but in pairs, to share the Word of God with other spiritual seekers. I feel certain that Jesus’ followers were strengthened by the fellowship they shared and that this must have provided a template for the Apostle Paul as he laid the foundations of the early Christian church.
Paul was a master builder of community. He referred to his fellow Christians as brothers and sisters and encouraged them to support one another. They shared meals, homes, finances, and the ministry. He called on them to accept everyone as their equal because they were all created by the one God. He wrote to the Christians in Galatia, “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:28). In a letter to the church in Corinth, he urged members to be charitable and kind and to value the diverse abilities and contributions of all, "for as the body is one, and hath many members, and all the members of that one body, being many, are one body: so also is Christ” (I Corinthians 12:14, 12).
At certain periods in our lives we may feel a sense of isolation and loneliness, or separation from a supportive community. Perhaps family and friends are not readily available. But God is always with us and a present help. In Psalms we are promised, “God setteth the solitary in families” (68:6). This is one of the most hope-filled messages in the Bible. Our loving Father-Mother parents us all 24/7, meeting every human need, including companionship. His covenant with His people is everlasting, transcending human associations, bloodlines, and traditional family ties.
This became evident to me two years ago when I moved to a house on a street where I did not know anyone. It was a challenging move because it involved selling one house and downsizing while renovating the new home. God’s guidance helped me to navigate the entire experience. I was most grateful for the loving prayers of a Christian Science practitioner. I live alone and have often prayed with the aforementioned passage, “God setteth the solitary in families.”
After transitioning into the new house, I was deeply moved to discover that God had in fact placed me in a loving neighborhood “family.” Six of my new neighbors have taken me under their wing. We share meals and have game nights. My immediate neighbor mows a part of the lawn that is difficult to access. Two neighbors have helped with dog-sitting. Several have also advised me on or assisted with home repairs. They have been like the brothers and sisters that Paul spoke of. I have gladly returned their kindness, and I treasure their friendship. This fellowship is powerful evidence of God’s presence.
The sense of fellowship or connection we have with one another can never be lost.
While participation in traditional social organizations may be declining, the sense of fellowship or connection all of God’s children naturally have with one another can never be lost. It endures because we are all created and parented by the same all-loving God. Mary Baker Eddy writes in the Christian Science textbook, “The rich in spirit help the poor in one grand brotherhood, all having the same Principle, or Father; and blessed is that man who seeth his brother’s need and supplieth it, seeking his own in another’s good” (Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, p. 518). Each time we reach out in love and brotherhood to a coworker, neighbor, or family member or graciously accept such loving gestures from others, we are expressing the spirit of Love that Christ Jesus exemplified. This enriches and enlarges not only our own social capital but our community’s as well.