Healing of a stubborn and hurt heart

Many years ago, a relationship I was in ended suddenly. I felt bitterness, betrayal, and many other negative feelings toward this individual for several years. I had been focusing on what I perceived as negative traits I’d seen this person express during the time we were together. When I asked for prayerful treatment from a Christian Science practitioner, it brought some relief, but every so often I would feel a sting of pain from the past; I just felt so wronged and hurt. 

Then, more recently, a lot of different things that needed to be addressed in my life came to a head all at the same time. I had come to the conclusion that all of these things were related to the barbs I had felt in this person’s words so long ago. A practitioner and I discussed ideas from the Christian Science textbook, Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy, particularly, “Christian Science commands man to master the propensities,—to hold hatred in abeyance with kindness, to conquer lust with chastity, revenge with charity, and to overcome deceit with honesty” (p. 405). This spoke almost directly to some of my feelings, and to the fact that I needed to deal with these feelings. I was harboring hatred toward this person for leaving me, a desire for revenge—for them to feel the way I felt—and self-deception that had convinced me I was justified in how I’d been viewing this person.