Article March 9, 2020 Issue

Confident compassion and comfort that heals grief

Susan Tish

Originally published in The Christian Science Monitor’s Christian Science Perspective column November 21, 2019.

At one time or another, every one of us has been in a position to lend comfort to a friend who is struggling or grieving. There is no rule book for what to say or how to react when someone has passed away. But anyone who has ever struggled with sadness or grief has wondered, How can I feel and express more comfort, joy, and compassion?

Several years ago my brother was killed instantly in a car crash. No one plans how he or she will react to news of such a tragedy. Looking back, my first reaction was to pray to understand what had happened. And there was an immediate answer to that prayer in the form of what felt like a mental hug. It felt as if divine Love, God, was right by my side, letting me know that my family was embraced in love and that my brother was still being cared for and loved, too.

But as the days went on, interacting with others was difficult. As well-intentioned as their concern was, I could almost feel the weight of their sorrow and pity pulling me down. Some expressions of sympathy even seemed to imply that God had had some hand in my brother’s death or that his life was unfulfilled.

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