Article March 25, 2013 Issue

You are so beautiful

Sophia Muller

Growing up in a home without a father or brothers was difficult for me. I believed that not having a male around to balance out the constant competition with my sisters for the attention and approval of a single parent, as well as rivalry amongst us to be the smartest and prettiest, resulted in my having a poor self-image. 

Of all my mother’s children, I was the only one who did not inherit her curvaceous figure. As a teenager, living in a culture that placed great emphasis on the female physique, I was in despair over my misfortune. I harbored a feeling of insecurity until my adulthood, when I was forced to face it head-on after a lump developed in my breast.

I discovered the lump right after being reunited with my husband. He and I had been legally separated for a year because of his unfaithfulness. All of my past insecurities resurfaced, along with a sense of inadequacy. The lump grew and became noticeably larger and painful. As time passed, I began to feel increasingly fatigued and weak. The fear of having cancer and dying overwhelmed me. Although I was praying about this, I thought it wise to let my mother know what I was dealing with.