It's never too late

Marian English, a Christian Science practitioner and teacher who lives in Colorado Springs, Colorado, was the guest for this live chat on JSH-Online.com. This excerpt has been adapted for publication. To listen to the full chat, go to: sentinel.christianscience.com/never-too-late.

I have two adult children in their 20s who’ve been battling drug addiction for some time, and sometimes they feel they have been into this addictive lifestyle for so long that it would be difficult to heal. 

From my own experience I know it is never too late to get free. I had smoked cigarettes for a decade or more, and I was instantaneously healed through Christian Science—with no aftereffects. The spiritual man whom God created in His own image, and which is our real identity, is never influenced by the chemicals that we sometimes are encouraged or enticed to take. In dealing with your own beloved children, you can claim the spiritual reality that they are the image and likeness of God and know that they have all the power they need to be free of that slavery. No, it’s never too late for them!

After months of trying to find equitable resolution to a divorce, there is no progress or cooperation. The children are grown and married. This does not involve infidelity but incompatibility, especially with different religions. Can you help?

Here’s a thought: The closer you get to God, the closer you’ll get to a resolution of whatever seems to separate you. If you look at things from the standpoint of your relationship with God, rather than your relationship with each other, you’ll find it helpful. 

My husband and I had some differences, and one of them was a difference in religion. I was not a Christian Scientist and he was. The first year that we were married, we loved each other but we were not getting along at all, and it looked like we were headed for divorce. 

I was just getting acquainted with Christian Science at the time, and it was pointing me to the Bible, which states that man is the image and likeness of God. And so, I thought, “OK, before I take proceedings to get a divorce from this guy, I will try to see him, not as my husband, but as the son of God.” 

What a difference it made! I began to see qualities in him that I had not seen before. I fell in love with him all over again, and this time on a different basis—as the son of God. We had a long, very successful marriage and three very great kids, and it was wonderful to be married to the son of God, instead of “that guy.”

I am 43 and have never been married. I thought that I had plenty of time to meet the right guy and raise a family, but it hasn’t happened, and now I’m going through early menopause, and I feel devastated that even if I do meet someone, I can’t have kids.

You remind me of Sarah who was the wife of Abraham. They were both old and childless. She thought it was too late, and in her day not having a child was devastating for a family, but through their faith in God, they had a son. 

You also remind me of Ruth in the Bible. Ruth was the daughter-in-law of Naomi and left everything that she knew about—her own family, her own culture, her own religion—and moved to Naomi’s country and home. Although she was a widow, and it looked hopeless for her, she met Boaz, got married, and even had children. 

It is never too late to feel the promise of a rich, full life, whether you’re married or not. Understanding that we are inseparable from Love, God, we find our human relationships becoming rich and fulfilled with promise, value, and worthiness. 

I used to be a difficult person with an unkind attitude and a short fuse. Over the last couple of years, I have worked to change this through tears of repentance and on bended knee. I had no idea a character transformation would take so much work! I’ve made much progress, but my family and friends still see me as a difficult person. How can they see that I can be trusted again? 

As you’ve changed your thought about yourself, the difficult person that you thought you were has diminished, and the loving, kind, compassionate person that you already are—because God made you that way—has become more apparent. Christian Science healing makes apparent that which is Christly, and that’s what you’ve done through your work. You have made the real “you” more apparent.

Now, have patience with your family and friends. They may still see you in the old way, but as you continue to make apparent that you really are a patient, kind, unselfish, loving individual, they’re going to see that. 

I study Christian Science and pray for myself as we are taught. But I just can’t shake the sense of guilt and self-condemnation for past sins that I am no longer involved with. How long does it take to be free of this past, especially when one feels so much regret over it? 

There’s a difference between self-condemnation and self-examination. Self-condemnation looks at oneself and sees something that you’ve done wrong, and grieves over it. Self-examination sees something you’ve done wrong and replaces it with a more Christly view of yourself. And then it instills a desire to be that more Christly individual, to make more apparent your real character. 

Regarding your question about how long that takes, I’ll ask, “How long did it take for Jesus to change the woman who the Bible says had seven devils?” It wasn’t time that healed her; it was his view of her. He was seeing the daughter of God, even if others still saw her as a woman with seven devils. 

Jesus’ teachings offer two concepts that may be helpful to you. He said, “If you’re going to follow me, deny self. Take up the cross and follow me” (see Mark 8:34 ). He also said that the most important law is to love God with all your heart, soul, strength, and mind, and, just as important, to love your neighbor as yourself (see Luke 10:27 ).

So, we have to love the true selfhood that comes from God, and we can see it when we are willing to look at ourselves spiritually and let the guilt melt away. Let that be a commitment in your thought, that you will never again see yourself as a miserable sinner who can’t get over it. You are the son of God, and that spiritual nature will never disappear.