No longer 'stuck,' but healed
A couple of years ago, a growth developed on the top of my head. Looking back, I guess I didn’t pray about it at first because the growth’s development was so gradual that it took a while before it seemed like an actual issue. But over time it grew substantially, and I couldn’t hold off addressing the situation any longer.
In fact, the growth was in my thought almost constantly. I was troubled about the condition itself, but even more so by the control over my thinking that it had. I wanted nothing more than to be rid of it, and I knew that my thinking was the place to start.
My first effort in prayer was to get past the material picture that was being constantly presented to me. I established firmly in thought the fact that my true identity is spiritual, not material. I understood that God is Spirit and His creation, which includes me, must therefore be entirely spiritual. I am not a vulnerable chunk of matter subject to random or negative influences. I am a wholly intact spiritual idea of God, and what appeared to be a material growth was actually an unreal perception of my true being.
Next, I reasoned that if matter is unreal, it can’t grow or change from one form to another. Growth must be a spiritual, not material, process. I yearned to experience spiritual growth, and worked hard to focus on that rather than on material appearances. Mary Baker Eddy wrote, “What we most need is the prayer of fervent desire for growth in grace, expressed in patience, meekness, love, and good deeds” (Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, p. 4 ). If she said that we most need it, then it must be pretty important! So I worked diligently to keep my thoughts on growing in grace, and I looked for ways to express patience, meekness, love, and good deeds in my daily life.
During this period, no one knew about this condition except my hairstylist. She never expressed fear, and this was very helpful to me. All along I had wonderful times of inspiration, but still, the condition remained unchanged. I began to feel “stuck” in my prayers.
Then I had the opportunity to participate in the planning of a Church Alive Summit (see members.christianscience.com/church-alive/events/). Working closely with other Christian Scientists in such holy work was quite moving. It was an amazing experience for me and such an inspiring example of harmonious forward-thinking church activity. As a result of this planning work, my thought was expanded in ways I had never felt before. I felt like a whole new world was opening up to me; I gained an expansive view of reality and of the possibilities ahead for our Church movement and the world.
The Summit planning work spanned a few months, and on the last day of the event, I noticed that the growth was gone. Wow! What happened? I thought: “After all this time, it’s gone? Just like that?” I was overcome with gratitude, but also puzzled as to what exactly had taken place.
Then I recognized just how significant my change in thought had been. I hadn’t realized that I had allowed myself to become stuck in a rut about a lot of things in my life, church included. My patterns of thinking had become very predictable. Even though I had always endeavored to bring fresh inspiration to whatever I was involved in, I had been feeling a lot of “sameness” in my prayer, study, and church work. What I needed was to be completely knocked out of my comfort zone, and that’s what the Summit planning did. It propelled my thought forward into new territory.
This healing continues to inspire me. It reminds me to never underestimate the effects of clear thinking. And it’s helped me to move forward with fresh thinking about church work.
Wendy Landry
Orlando, Florida, US
