Have you ever caught yourself looking at a stranger and thinking, “Wow, I sure don’t like her outfit or crazy hair!” Or, “He looks a bit scary, I’d better stay away from him.” How about in your family, or among friends and acquaintances—thinking somebody’s not 

 doing the right thing, or making the right life choices? And then there’s church or politics—how do you react to those who hold opinions that seem to oppose yours? And what if you don’t like what someone is doing or saying, or not doing or saying?

Every day we’re challenged in ways such as these. But even when we may not agree with others’ way of life, we can take these as opportunities for us to think and act rightly. We can resist the temptation to point a condemning finger at them and instead strive to truly discern our neighbor through the eyes of divine Love, to see them as God created them. 

In the Bible, Jesus used strong words to defend minor breaches in Mosaic law: “Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment” (John 7:24). And he provided some great examples. On one occasion he said boldly: “Why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then perhaps you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye” (Matt. 7:3-5, New Living Translation).

The message is clear: Be aware of your own failings before you judge anyone else. If you do this, you’ll be brought to a point of humility where you won’t be so quick to jump on another’s shortcomings. Often we do this to make ourselves look better. But if we hold to a standard of perfection set by God, we won’t have to compare ourselves with others to validate ourselves. Right judgment stems from the way we see ourselves in relation to God. If we see ourselves as God’s loved children—already whole and perfect—then we must see others in the
 same way.

This doesn’t mean we gloss over another’s dubious behavior. We are required to see the speck in our neighbor’s eye. But our duty then is to help remove it prayerfully—with love, compassion, and a deeper understanding of our shared relationship with God. Sometimes, for example, in our roles as parent or teacher, friend or colleague, it’s important to honestly, frankly, and lovingly address mistakes and take a stand for what is right, so that those mistakes won’t be repeated in the future.

Mary Baker Eddy was just as firm as Jesus in urging her students to be “charitable and kind” to those holding differing opinions from them when she wrote: “Let us be faithful in pointing the way through Christ, as we understand it, but let us also be careful always to ‘judge righteous judgment,’ and never to condemn rashly” (Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, p. 444).

Clearly, we are called upon to see past the faults we might attach to neighbors. If we believe in the reality of sin, it’s hard to separate wrong-doing from the person. It may appear to be all about “them,” but in Christian Science, sins or mistakes are viewed as misconceptions about the nature of God and His creation, including ourselves and our neighbors—and the correcting takes place within one’s own individual experience. When judging—condemning—someone else’s behavior, we might ask ourselves: Are we separating the person from sin, or seeing them as separate from their connection to the love and grace of God? 

These are the moments when it helps to take a closer look at how we make our judgment calls. I think Solomon in the Old Testament got a clear view of God’s will when he prayed for guidance and for the ability to discern rightly. When Solomon became king and judge over his people, he humbly asked God to help him: “I am like a little child who doesn’t know his way around” (I Kings 3:7, New Living Translation). And he continued: “Give me a God-listening heart so I can lead your people well, discerning the difference between good and evil. For who on their own is capable of leading your glorious people?” (I King 3:9, The Message). And God’s loving response is confirmed in the King James Version: “And God gave Solomon wisdom and understanding exceeding much, and largeness of heart, even as the sand that is on the sea shore” (I Kings 4:29). 

When judging—condemning—someone else’s behavior, are we separating the person from sin, or seeing them as separate from their connection to the love and grace of God?

Since Solomon’s time, there’s been an evolution in humanity’s understanding of God. The Old Testament view of God often included wrath and condemnation. But in the New Testament, Jesus changes the game. It’s not so much about condemnation; it’s more about restoring, healing, transforming, and saving. Jesus said, “If any man hear my words, and believe not, I judge him not: for I came not to judge the world, but to save the world” (John 12:47). He demonstrated this when the Pharisees brought to him the woman caught in adultery to see how he would judge her. Tradition said she should be stoned. But Jesus told the would-be stone-throwers to examine themselves first, challenging them to be sure they were completely free of sin themselves. They all left, leaving Jesus alone with the woman. He told her he didn’t condemn her and that she was free to go (see John 8:3–11).

I’ve always been impressed by the grace and love Jesus expressed in that case of casting judgment. Clearly, it touched and saved that woman. Jesus emphasized that she should go and sin no more—recognizing that true reformation from sin comes not from the judgment of others but from self-knowledge and reformation. And that experience was a wake-up call for her accusers, who were convicted by their own hearts. 

How then do we make wise judgments in accord with God’s will?—especially if our viewpoint is colored by hurt, false perceptions, and so on. In my experience, I have on occasion been so distracted by someone else’s behavior that I’ve lost sight of the lessons I needed to learn. It’s so much easier to critique something “out there” than to focus on the ways in which we need to change our own thinking about another person or our perception of a troublesome situation. 

I recall one particular time when I was surprised by the actions of someone I trusted in an organization to which we both belonged. I gathered that this person was spreading false accusations about me that could wreck my reputation. I even struggled to pray about the situation. At one point I wondered if I was behaving a bit like one of the Pharisees who sprang to judgment without looking within. I, too, needed to look at myself first. So I asked God what I needed to do; what I needed to see.

As I persisted in prayer, I realized that my reputation didn’t rest on what someone else was thinking about me. Right judgment is about listening to what God’s wisdom is revealing
 to us. I began to realize that my harsh judgment was no more than a ploy of the carnal mind (which is described in Romans 8:7 as “enmity against God”) to separate me from my “neighbor.” From that point on, instead of looking for evidence of offensive speech or behavior, I strove to see—and in due course found—qualities of God in that person, and my peace of mind was restored. 

Among the lessons I learned through that experience—and, I repeat, I learned—is that we can always choose to be a healing rather than a condemning presence. Instead of getting distracted by someone else’s actions or appearance, we can open our minds and hearts to discern God’s qualities shining through. We can choose to practice compassion, healing, and grace, which give people—including ourselves—the space to change from within. In the process, we rediscover what is real and true about all of God’s children, as Jesus taught us. Such discernment on our part brings wise, right judgment to every situation.