In experiencing the following healing, I became more grateful than ever for the magazines published by The Christian Science Publishing Society, both weekly and monthly, and the spiritual encouragement and healing ideas in their pages.

One morning, I woke up around 3:00 hardly able to breathe. I sat on the side of the bed, mentally declaring "the scientific statement of being" from Science and Health, which begins, "There is no life, truth, intelligence, nor substance in matter" (p. 468). As I continued to gasp for breath, I repeated declarations such as these: "All is Spirit. I am spiritual. In metaphysics, there is no struggling physical sense. I am not physique. My being is above physics (above the grasp of mortal concepts)." Still there was no relief. I felt like Job in the Bible, trying one thing and then another. He couldn't find comfort either. But now, what should I do?

As I walked into the kitchen, I saw an issue of The Christian Science Journal (March 2006) on the table. FEAR NOT was on the cover in large letters. Yes, I had started to become afraid. When would it stop? Beneath FEAR NOT were the words, for I am with thee. But God felt so far away.

Still gasping, I sat down with the magazine. It opened to the article, "Nothing to fear." What a reassuring thought, especially since I'd planned to devote the day to writing an inspirational talk.

My eyes fell on three statements in the article, all beginning with If, in italics: "If this happens. If this doesn't stop. If this turns out to be serious"—referring to the thoughts that fear imposes on one's thinking. Sadly, I admitted, Yes, that was exactly what was in my thought. But I saw the need not to give in to doubt. The writer continued by explaining that what gives rise to fear is the belief that God is not All. I began to pray, "Dear Father, I know that You are All. You are all good, and only good can come to me, as Your likeness."

The article then presented God's divine message, "I am Love, and I am All." For at least the next 15 minutes, I prayed with that statement alone. It was as if God was talking to me, and I could feel His love.

By now it was about 4:00 a.m. My breathing was still labored, and other symptoms had appeared. But I was able to think calmly again. The article continued with God speaking: "In Me, in divine Love, there is nothing to fear, because in My allness, there is nothing unlike Myself. In Me, there is no fear."

I closed my eyes and prayed out loud, "God is my very breath because God is Spirit." I thought of the Latin word for breath, spiritus. "I do not have to battle to breathe. I am the expression of Spirit."

When I opened my eyes, I read further: "Love and fear can't exist together. And just as darkness doesn't battle light but is dispelled by light, so fear doesn't battle Love, but is dispelled by Love." I knew that the word dispel meant to clear away and dissolve. I continued to feel embraced in God's love. I clung to the simplicity and completeness of that love.

It was now 5:00 a.m. My breathing had improved, but it was still heavy. So I continued to pray, broadening my thoughts. I knew that the world's fear of disease could not be imposed on me. I could not be mesmerized by fear, or have the freedom to express God's love choked out of me. I could not accept a suggestion or lie about my well-being, because God determines my thoughts, and He imparts and knows only what is true and good about His creation. What God knew about me right then was that I was His loved child, cared for and protected in every way.

By 6:00 a.m. my breathing was completely normal again. By the time my husband awakened, my fear was gone, and I saw that the experience had been only a powerless illusion.

How grateful I am for the periodicals, and that what we need is right at hand when we need it. It was as though God turned the page to what would speak to me at that moment. To say that I'm grateful seems so minimal. God's boundless goodness is always at hand. I experienced it that morning.

BARBARA THIEL JOHNSON
HOUSTON, TEXAS, US