I've regularly attended Wednesday testimony meetings since I was 13. At first it was just the harmonious, friendly atmosphere and the testimonies other people gave that attracted me. Later it was also the desire to share with others my own healings through Christian Science.

But for some time, when I wanted to stand up in church and share an experience, I found myself paralyzed with fear, as if I were glued to my seat. Then one Wednesday I heard in the readings the Apostle Paul's words from the Bible: "We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord" (II Cor. 5:8). I realized that I had to change my way of thinking. Instead of focusing on myself, I had to put my desire to thank and glorify God first. I told myself that it didn't matter if my heart beat like crazy, or if I was trembling with fear. All I needed to do was to be mentally present with God, with Love, Life, and Truth. With that, I got up, and I was suddenly able to speak freely.

A complete healing of fear of public speaking came gradually. Again and again I went back to asking myself what my motives were for sharing publicly. Did I want to impress others, or bless them and express my gratitude to God? As I would turn my thought to God, I would once again find the ability to speak freely.

When sometimes discouraged about an apparent lack of testimonies during a particular Wednesday meeting, I would think about how church is about giving and not just receiving. And I would pray to know what to share in order to give. As a result of the freedom I found through this prayer, I also found I could speak freely at job-related occasions. I'm grateful that the desire to give and share has blessed me this way.

I've also experienced other healings thanks to testimony meetings. One Wednesday, I felt very sick and weak, and I spent all day in bed. Although I had tried to pray, I hadn't been able to persist with any clear thought. All I wanted to do was sleep. By the evening, though, the desire to be in church woke me up. It became clear to me that I especially needed the service that day. And I recognized that nothing could stop me from going, or hypnotize me into believing that I could not express gratitude that night. Through my study of Christian Science, I had learned that I was not a helpless victim to sickness, but I could "resist disease and ward it off" (Mary Baker Eddy, Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures, p. 420) by accepting what was spiritually true about me. I knew I could expect to be healed. So I got up, dressed, and slowly started on my way. Still not feeling well, I arrived at the meeting. I decided just to listen carefully to God's Word the whole time, rather than to what my body was telling me.

Although I don't remember anymore which passages from the Bible and Science and Health were read that night, I know that listening to them gave me a feeling of dominion, joy, and freedom. They turned my thinking away from the physical problem to divine Truth.

Afterward a friend asked me to come over to her apartment to look at some of her vacation photos. Happily I agreed. Suddenly I realized that the feeling of weakness and nausea was gone. I had been healed during the service. My friend offered me supper. And for the first time that day, I was able to eat normally. I was completely free.

Especially because of their healing effect, Wednesday testimony meetings mean so much to me.

HELGA JANESCH
FREIBURG, GERMANY