I was exhausted by a tremendous emptiness, and desired only to end my life. I called on God, "If You really are there, please help me." That was 15 years ago, before I knew anything about Christian Science.

At that time I was living in my native country of Colombia and had decided to apply for foreign study — simply to find new direction. I took an Italian language class and became friends with a Christian Scientist. Soon she took me to a Christian Science Reading Room, where I purchased Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy.

I read that whole book in one week! It was impossible to stop reading it. And through my reading of Science and Health, I felt a reconciliation with God and a clear demand to change my way of living. It was as if He was telling me that if I didn't stop the drugs, smoking, and drinking, I would always suffer.

I felt so flooded with love that I immediately began studying the Bible Lessons in the Christian Science Quarterly—it was as if I were a sponge soaking up every idea about my relationship with God. I also met a teacher of Christian Science who gave two lectures in our town. Again, I felt only love. Yet giving up my way of living and the emptiness I felt took a lot longer. I left Colombia, and studied and worked in Italy, in an effort to help me give up the old ways. I had to learn to listen for God's direction, and then to have the discipline to follow it. I remember saying to God, "You gave me back my life; now, my life is Yours." During that time, and before becoming a member of The Mother Church, I traveled to Chile to take Primary class instruction with a Spanish-speaking teacher of Christian Science.

Then in the late '90s I attended a conference on spirituality at The Mother Church in Boston. Unexpectedly, I stayed on after the conference. Since my native language is Spanish, I volunteered to help, working with the Spanish radio edition ofEl El Heraldo de la Christian Science. I also served on a committee that ministered to Spanish inmates in jail. I was overjoyed with the thought of being able to read the Bible Lesson in Spanish to these inmates, since I'd been wanting to help people in prison. I myself had felt imprisoned before finding Christian Science.

Christian Science activities weren't available in the women's unit of the jail, but I was deeply moved by the plight of those young women and said, "Somebody needs to visit them." I didn't feel strong enough in my own understanding of God and Christian Science to help. Yet I couldn't stop thinking about them. I prayed for a way to be of service, although I also remember telling God that I wasn't ready.

Then I opened the Bible to where it says: "Ah, Lord God! behold, I cannot speak: for I am a child. But the Lord said unto me, Say not, I am a child: for thou shalt go to all that I shall send thee, and whatsoever I command thee thou shalt speak. Be not afraid of their faces: for I am with thee to deliver thee, Behold, I have Behold, I have put my words in thy mouth" (Jer. 1:6-9). Well, it was clear. I'd desired to help those who, like me, had been lost, and now God was telling me that He was going to do the work.

Soon I was able to visit the women's unit. I saw God's love reaching, strengthening, correcting, and healing those women right there. In much the same way, divine Love had touched me — and suddenly I felt grateful for my own mistakes and struggles. As I talked with them, verses from the Bible and Science and Health just came to me. I knew exactly what to say to help them. God was giving me what we all needed to hear.

Then a friend, another chaplain at the prison, gave me an application for advertising in The Christian Science Journal as a full-time practitioner. It remained in my desk for a long time. Two years ago, people began to e-mail me, asking me to pray for them. Wonderful healings took place, as a result of my calling on God in prayer for them. Then, after more prayer and a genuine willingness to listen for God's direction, I did apply to be listed in the Journal, as well as in the Spanish and Italian editions of The Herald of Christian Science. And I was accepted for advertising as a full-time Christian Science practitioner.

God truly did bring me to life. How can I do less than consecrate my life to Him, with a willingness to watch His ability to bring everyone to a joyous freedom — never imprisoned. css