RELATIONSHIPS February 14, 2005 Issue

SIGNIFICANT OTHER, OR SIGNIFICANT ONE?

BEVERLY PEAKE

MY FRIEND GAIL WAS TRYING TO PUT UP A BRAVE front. It had been a tough day for her as she watched a steady parade of Valentine bouquets being delivered to her female colleagues. In past years she would have been on the receiving end, too. But now, newly divorced, she had no red roses coming her way. Sitting at her unadorned desk, hearing her co-workers' "oohs" and "aahs" of delight, my friend felt ... insignificant.

Later that day, at a women's assertiveness training course, she found her fellow singles equally miserable. Letting loose with her tears, she shared details of her humiliation at the office. After a pause, the group facilitator asked, "And what have you done to ensure that the next Valentine's Day won't be the same?"

Gail was stunned. Surely it wasn't her responsibility to make things better, she thought. Wasn't it up to someone else to waltz into her life and transform it with dimension and direction?

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