Article May 31, 2004 Issue

I learned to honor myself

By Cynthia Neely

It's always been such a surprise to me to find out that other people are seeing me differently from the way I see myself. Back in college, I could count on Nina, my best friend, to give me the honest truth about how I was coming across to others. But once I got into the workplace, I pretty much had to rely on my own to guide me. And those feelings were not very positive. So I was really taken aback when my co-workers started making comments about how loving and gentle I was as I went about my job.

I had always seen myself as reserved and shy because I was actually afraid to interact with other people. But as I heard more and more positive comments, I started to reevaluate what I thought of myself.

Having been abused as a child and in my marriage, I had taken on a view of myself as someone who always missed the mark, as never being in sync with the rest of the world. As a child, I saw myself as different from the other kids, who all seemed to come from loving, happy homes.

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