Article December 15, 2003 Issue

I chose the LIGHT

A woman prays her way out of mental darkness.

By Alexis Deacon

These days , I wake up in the morning, and I want to get out of bed because I look forward to the good things the day will bring. I ask God to show me how I can serve Him by loving and blessing His children. But it hasn't always been this way.

Several years ago I was very dissatisfied with my life. I felt that I wasn't progressing quickly enough in my work, and I felt constant pressure to do more, to do better. But the more I tried, the more frustration and fear I felt. Goals in life had become my god, and it seemed as if I could never accomplish them no matter how much I tried. I always felt that I was falling short of the mark. I began to deeply doubt my abilities and my worth.

I began suffering from mental darkness and depression. Many days I felt as if I could barely function. The mental darkness became so overwhelming that I felt more and more unable to do my work and less motivated even to try. Finally I decided to ask a Christian Science practitioner to pray with me for healing.