Article October 20, 2003 Issue

No place for condemnation

By Rebecca Odegaard

FORGIVENESS ISN'T AN ASTONISHING EVENT, or a rarity that sweetens our lives only occasionally. It's a way of operating daily, even minute by minute. Virtually every encounter offers the opportunity either to be generous of heart, or not. Consistently practicing the act of forgiving in ordinary, nearly undetectable instances helps when something comes along that requires a greater magnanimity.

I had one of those little opportunities the other night. I'd decided to have some people over for a Sunday potluck supper. Having sampled some delicious barbecue from a new place in midtown Manhattan, I placed an order for the main course and paid by credit card over the phone. Since I was going out of town that evening, and they would be closed over the weekend, we agreed to a pick-up time of late afternoon on Friday.

Zigzagging uptown more than 50 blocks through Friday evening traffic, I was incredulous when I found the store shuttered and a handwriten sign taped outside: "Sold out. See you Monday." I phoned twice on my cell phone and got a recording with the same message. I was supposed to leave town in an hour. How could they? Why didn't they call me? They grabbed my money and ran! This is no way to do business!