Article July 2, 2001 Issue

DON'T GO THERE

Kay Olson

There I was in the car, driving to the office. Instead of admiring the early signs of spring along the way, I was seeing signs that were not pretty. I was weighed down with regret, sadness, and guilt. It was a should have, could have, would have, kind of trip.

My mom had passed on a few months earlier. And while I'd thought I was OK about it, here I was wandering in a mental maze of wishes.

I wished I had done more for her. I wished I had spent more time with her. I drove past the restaurant where she and I had meant to eat, and wished we had taken the time to do that. (The "should have" sign popped up.) I thought about the butterfly museum she had been so eager to visit. I wished I'd followed through with plans to do that. (The "could have" sign popped up.)

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