Article July 14, 1997 Issue

Transformed mental health

Phoebe Loughrey

I First struggled with depression as a teenager, but could usually brush it aside. There were a few times, however, when it became quite severe. Later, I underwent psychotherapy for the depression and also because of abuse I had experienced as a child. With the progress I made in psychotherapy, I became a functional adult—I could hold down a job, I could maintain my marriage, I loved my children—but I was still haunted by my past. I would have unpleasant flashbacks about my childhood and would waken in the night smelling cigarette smoke, even though no one in our house smoked. I also couldn't control my temper and moods, or my son's behavior. I became increasingly ill with "cluster" migraines and another serious health problem, and daily I battled depression.

A new friend spoke to me about her religion, but I didn't believe it could help me. My health continued to deteriorate so much, however, that, with my friend's encouragement, I called a Christian Science practitioner and asked for treatment through prayer. That day the long-standing illness I'd been suffering from was healed. And I began to study Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures by Mary Baker Eddy very earnestly. I was consistently experiencing physical healings, so I knew that relying on God worked. But I wondered where He'd been when I had needed Him so badly as a child. This was a stumbling block for me, so I dug deeper. I realized that I had to take my question out of the realm of what I typically understood life to be.

Then one day I gained a clearer understanding of divine Mind. I could see that there is nothing but divine Love, which blots out belief in all else. It was like being in a bathtub full of warm water, but the water was God and I was completely suspended in this warm, all-encompassing Love. I could see that nothing else could exist but Love. My sense of a mortal past or future full of suffering was blotted out by this glimpse of the truth that God is All-in-all.

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