Article December 1, 1997 Issue

Relationship problems? What I learned

Jane A. Beck

All my life, as a child and later when I became a parent, our family would get up very early, while it was still dark outside, to celebrate Christmas by opening gifts around the lighted tree. The twinkly lights against the dark window were so magical! Now, three days before Christmas, our new daughter-in-law was telling me she could never do that—she had to get more sleep! She and my son would be over about eleven o'clock! Taken aback, I asked if there was any room for compromise. No, there wasn't.

I tried not to show too much disappointment, but after hanging up the telephone I sat in the chair a little stunned. How could she do this? I bet if she were home for Christmas, she would be keeping her family's traditions! She was taking all the fun out of my Christmas! I had been wrapping gifts when she called, and now I didn't feel like continuing.

Soon, I knew I was wrong to feel angry, but at the same time, I had no idea how to get over the sense of injustice. As I struggled with these feelings, I thought of this statement from Science and Health: "In patient obedience to a patient God, let us labor to dissolve with the universal solvent of Love the adamant of error,—self-will, self-justification, and self-love,—which wars against spirituality and is the law of sin and death" (p. 242). I reached out desperately to God. Then the most wonderful thought came to me: "I will not celebrate Jesus' birth by being angry."

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