Article July 29, 1996 Issue

"I'm sorry!"

Ann B. Jenkins

For some of us, it is harder to say "I'm sorry" than to forgive someone. Why? Maybe we don't feel confident that we will be forgiven! And, too, an apology includes the implicit promise that we will reform.

Apologizing and reforming become much easier when we discover that the same strengths needed for one—humility, honesty, and moral courage—also make it possible to do the other. So if we are genuinely sorry, we'll also be able to fulfill our desire to do better.

Once, I made what I thought was a harmless quip about a national group. A friend's gentle but firm rebuke brought me up short. She convinced me that my joking wasn't really harmless. I needed to eliminate outworn habits of thought and move ahead. Through this experience, I realized that seemingly harmless jokes can sometimes stereotype and emphasize the differences among people. Now, I rejoice in these differences as brilliant facets of individuality. The Apostle Paul had his own early difficulties coming to terms with ethnic and religious differences. But the Christ transformed his thought, and he shared the essence of Christ Jesus' teachings when he said, "All the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself" (Gal. 5:14).

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