Article October 18, 1993 Issue

Growing up IN THE 90s

Attraction, love, and sex

The Christian Science Monitor

Recently Time magazine quoted a high-school student as saying: "'The media doesn't make it seem like it's really about love. ... Nowadays sexuality is the way you look, the way you wear your hair. It's all physical, not what's inside you'" (May 24, 1993). Have you ever thought about how much difference there is between sexual attraction and actually being in love with someone? Attraction based solely on body and looks often gains center stage. Yet there is something real, something significant, about a relationship that develops on a more spiritual foundation. From the first time you notice the other person, to the moment you actually say something to each other, share activities, enjoy things you have in common, there is great fun in exploring what it means to relate closely with another. ...

There is the joy of discovery, of mutual understanding, of caring for one another's feelings. The truly good qualities—honesty, consideration, strength, tenderness, and so on—are spiritually based. When the focus is on these, rather than on matter, spirituality can become the structure for a progressive relationship. And since God has actually created everyone spiritually, discovering our genuine spirituality helps each of us to learn something about the reality of our nature as God's creation.

You have great spiritual worth. Your completeness and self-esteem are a product of your identity as God's dearly loved expression. The qualities that God, divine Love, is expressing in you are, to say the least, beautiful and attractive. They are worth sharing, worth developing.

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